Life and Cupcakes

Don't take life too seriously - you'll never get out of it alive.

-Elbert Hubbard

LIVE. And just eat that yummy cupcake ;P

Closer

For almost a month now, I have been downcast, guilty, ashamed and dispirited because of a series of wrong decisions I have made. I caved in to my weaknesses and the short-lived happiness made a permanent damage to myself and my relationship with God. I hurt myself and I compromised my ideals. I allowed myself to be a stumbling block to a child of God and in the process, hurt the person as well. Most of all, I hurt my Father - I disappointed Him so much I can feel Him crying.

Normal reaction to sin would be to dwell on it and the shame it brings will distance us from our God. This is exactly what happened to me and as I shunned God, I found myself sin more and more and farther and farther from God. This has affected everything in my life - I distanced myself from friends and community, the zest and passion for anything quickly melted away.

Three weeks passed and I'm so thankful that we have a Father who does not allow us to stray too far and too long. He opened His arms and welcomed me back through the message of Pastor Brett Fuller during the Convergence and through the message during the prophetic evening with Pastor Jim Laffoon. Through them, God reminded me that no one is perfect and even if I or God has high expectations from me, I am still human and I will make mistakes; I will sometimes fail and it's okay, I just have to pick myself up, repent and take responsibility.

I cannot beat myself up for failing, it will only prolong the process of self-pity and delay the things that I'm supposed to do for the Lord.    

Do not conform to the pattern of this world, 

but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.

Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is -

his good, pleasing and perfect will. 

(Romans 12:2 NIV)

I am also learning that the moment I catch myself sinning, I have to own it and run immediately to the Father through His word and prayer. This is the time to get closer to God and wrap myself in the comfort of His word and promises.

How can a young person stay on the path of purity?

By living according to your word.

(Psalm 119:9 NIV)

I have to acknowledge and declare the power of His word and His love because this will serve as my armor and protection from further sinning. 

How sweet are your words to my taste,

sweeter than honey to my mouth!

(Psalm 119:103 NIV)

Our Father is forgiving and He is gentle in forgiving His children. He loves us so much that He is glad when we realize our mistakes and come running back to Him. Despite me breaking His heart, I can expect that I will be welcomed with open arms and warm hugs because He loves me with all my inequities, selfishness, worldliness and shortcomings. 

I love those who love me,

and those who seek me find me.

(Proverbs 8:17 NIV)

This episode of falling has taught me to be closer to our Father, to seek Him more, to know Him more so that I can be more sensitive to His instructions and resist the temptations to sin. Being closer and knowing Him more means spending more quiet time with the Lord, reading the Bible and praying. I can be so busy at times helping others that I forget to feed myself the word of the Lord and I get weak, which makes me an easy target. I have to build my fort stronger so I can protect myself against attacks.   

I seek you with all my heart;

do not let me stray from your commands.

(Psalm 119:10 NIV)

Lastly, it is accepting and acting on the fact that I cannot fight temptations alone. I will never be able to control my desires and my actions no matter how motivated or determined I am. I cannot trust anyone to control their actions as well - My responsibility is to control my OWN actions through the grace of the Lord; stay away from compromising situations, run away and run to the Father.  

Submit yourselves, then, to God.

Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.

(James 4:7 NIV)

Only the Father can give us great love, love that can satisfy us eternally. Hear His call, get closer and rest in His love - His everlasting love.

Closer

Your love has ravished my heart

And taken me over, taken me over

And all I want is to be

With You forever, with You forever

Pull me a little closer

Take me a little deeper

I want to know Your heart

I want to know Your heart

‘Cause Your love is so much sweeter

Than anything I’ve tasted

I want to know Your heart

I want to know Your heart

Your love has ravished my heart

And taken me over, taken me over

And all I want is to be

With You forever, with You forever

Pull me a little closer

Take me a little deeper

I want to know Your heart

I want to know Your heart

‘Cause Your love is so much sweeter

Than anything I’ve tasted

I want to know Your heart

I want to know Your heart

Ooh, Ooh how great your love is for me

Ooh, Ooh how great is your love

Pull me a little closer

Take me a little deeper

I want to know Your heart

I want to know Your heart

‘Cause Your love is so much stronger

Than anything I’ve faced and

I want to know Your heart

I want to know Your heart

Dubstep What?

Image from http://www.digitaldjtips.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/09/dubstep.jpg

The first time I heard it, I was a bit stunned. I've been exposed to upbeat praise music but dubstep?

What is it anyway? Dubstep is defined by Merriam-Webster (the only source I trust for definitions) as a cacophony of incoherent noise arranged on a beat that misses the 2nd and fourth count consistently. Wikipedia expounds by describing dubstep as "a genre of electronic dance music that originated in South London, England. It emerged in the late 1990s as a development within a lineage of related styles such as 2-step garage, broken beat, drum and bass, jungle, dub and reggae. In the UK the origins of the genre can be traced back to the growth of the Jamaican sound system party scene in the early 1980s. The music generally features syncopated drum and percussion patterns with bass lines that contain prominent sub bass frequencies."

Because dubstep became popular via fusion with mainstream music of pop, electro-house or heavy metal, my initial apprehension is not surprising. Although after several hours of listening, it did not sound so 'scary' after all. I guess it takes some time of getting used to and I think this is a new way to reach a certain group of people.

How about you? What do you think about the fusion of dubstep into praise music? How does it make you feel?

Look out for time stamp 2:29 :)

Dance (Give it Up for Jesus)

I'm alive
'Cause Jesus gave me life
He opened up my eyes
I can see clearly now

Oh, everybody dance now, oh

Everybody, give it up for Jesus
Give Him glory, for He has redeemed us
Everybody, give it up for Jesus
Praise His name

My desire
Is to lift You higher
It's only burning brighter
This passion inside of me

Oh, everybody dance now, oh

Everybody, give it up for Jesus
Give Him glory, for He has redeemed us
Everybody, give it up for Jesus
Praise His name
Everybody, give it up for Jesus
Give Him glory, for He has redeemed us
Everybody, give it up for Jesus
Praise His name

This praise is bursting out
And I can't contain it now
This praise is bursting out
Out, out, 1, 2, let's go

Everybody, give it up for Jesus
Give Him glory, for He has redeemed us
Everybody, give it up for Jesus
Praise His name
Everybody, give it up for Jesus
Give Him glory, for He has redeemed us
Everybody, give it up for Jesus
Praise His name

Here's a version of my favorite Oceans with dubstep.

One Thing Remains

Like a Lion

Lead me to the Cross

The Stand

Like an Avalanche

The Lost are Found

Came to My Rescue

Father

God is Able

Holy

Awesome God

Closed Doors

It's easy to be calm, happy and contented when things are good, when there is no struggle. The challenge is to still rejoice and praise God when things are not so good. Today, I had two rejections and it hurt my ego a lot. Having two doors slam on me in one afternoon made me sad as I know I won't proceed the way I planned and envisioned.

For a moment. I questioned why I was rejected. For a moment I had a pity party and I even compared myself to others who were more fortunate than I am. Then as clear as the sun, I received an answer. "Trust me. I know what I am doing. I am not giving you this because I am saving you from danger. I am denying you this because I have something better. I have the whole picture. Trust me."

There I went again, I made plans without praying to my Father. I made plans on my own, not considering how it will benefit me in the long run and how it will build my Father's kingdom. And like so many times in my life, he is saving me, he is asking me to trust him, surrender my everything to him, grow my faith and let him have his way in my life.

Thank you my Lord, thank you for taking away things that would keep me away from you. Thank you that when you close doors to me, you are keeping me safe. Thank you that you have my best interest in your heart. Lord, have your way. 

I Surrender

Here I am
Down on my knees again
Surrendering all
Surrendering all

Find me here
Lord as You draw me near
Desperate for You
Desperate for You

I surrender

Drench my soul
As mercy and grace unfold
I hunger and thirst
I hunger and thirst

With arms stretched wide
I know You hear my cry
Speak to me now
Speak to me now

I surrender
I surrender
I wanna know You more
I wanna know You more

Like a rushing wind
Jesus breathe within
Lord have Your way
Lord have Your way in me

Like a mighty storm
Stir within my soul
Lord have Your way
Lord have Your way in me

Like a rushing wind
Jesus breathe within
Lord have Your way
Lord have Your way in me

Like a mighty storm
Stir within my soul
Lord have Your way
Lord have Your way in me

Like a rushing wind
Jesus breathe within
Lord have Your way
Lord have Your way in me

Like a mighty storm
Stir within my soul
Lord have Your way
Lord have Your way in me

Lord have Your way
Lord have Your way in me

I surrender
I surrender
I wanna know You more
I wanna know You more

Kingdom Invasion 2014

Last night was an awesome experience of praise, worship, prayer, healing and revival at the second evening session of Kingdom Invasion 2014. I went with a couple of my friends and we were all blessed by the music, message and wave of healing that happened.

There is something so powerful when believers from different churches gather for prayer and fellowship. 

KI2014 is happening at Singapore Expo Hall 1 from March 18-21, 2014.

Listen, sing, dance and come alive with God's Great Dance Floor :)

Stay and Wait

Waiting has never been my strong suit. I want quick action and instant results. That's why diets don't work for me. I desire movement, something to work on, something to reach, something to accomplish. I thrive in competition, enjoy seasons and dwell in happy chapters of my life. 

Almost all the years of my life, I worked on and by my own strength; God was almost never in the equation. So all these changes in me and my life are overwhelming me because for the first time in my life, I am no longer in control. I have given the steering wheel of my life to Jesus, letting him call the shots, letting him decide where to go and waiting on his timing.

The Lord is good to those whose hope is in him,

to the one who seeks him;

(Lamentations 3:25 NIV)

It's still a daily struggle though. I have things I want to do but I pray for wise counsel, control and patience. When things don't go the way as I planned them to, I pray for understanding, acceptance and complete trust. When the temptations are strong, I turn my back and run, as fast as I can, as far as I can go; constantly praying for protection and courage to say no.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart

and lean not on your own understanding;

in all your ways submit to him,

and he will make you paths straight.

(Proverbs 3:5-6 NIV)

Do I sometimes doubt the Lord? I must admit that sometimes I wonder if everything I'm doing, feeling and sacrificing are going to be worthy. However, I can say that I can never doubt my Lord because he has proven himself on the cross and he has proven himself to me by performing a great miracle in my life. After what he has done to me, I can never turn my back away from him, I can never bat an eye, I can never deny his existence and his greatness and goodness.

I pray that all my family and friends would have an encounter with the Lord as deep, personal and unimaginable as mine. Then you would understand how deep his love is for his children. Then you would understand why I love him this much, and why I will stay and wait for him. 

I remain confident of this:

I will see the goodness of the Lord

in the land of the living.

Wait for the Lord;

be strong and take heart

and wait for the Lord.

(Psalm 27:13-14 NIV)

Stay and Wait

Who spoke the Earth and sky to form
Who sets the sun and calls the dawn
Who breathed me out of dust to life
The will to trust or run and hide

I will stay should the world by me fold
Lift up Your name as the darkness falls
I will wait and hold fast to Your word
Heart on Your heart and my eyes on You

Who loved me through my rebel way
Who chose to carry all my shame
Who breaths in me with endless life
The king of glory Jesus Christ

I will stay should the world by me fold
Lift up Your name as the darkness falls
I will wait and hold fast to Your word
Heart on Your heart and my eyes on You

God of wonder and God of grace
Let my soul stand always to praise You
Fix my eyes on Your perfect way
And I'll never look back

I will stay should the world by me fold
Lift up Your name as the darkness falls
I will wait and hold fast to Your word
Heart on Your heart and my eyes on You

Who lifts the poor and heals the blind
Who trampled death for all mankind
Who stands for all with arms stretched wide
My King forever Jesus Christ

You Know Me

Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? 

Yet not one of them will fall to the ground apart from the will of your Father. 

And even the very hairs of your head are all numbered. 

So don't be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows. 

(Matthew 10:29-31 NIV)

One of the first things I had to teach myself or allow myself to learn when I accepted Christ in my life is how He loves me. His love for me is so deep and personal that the Father took the time to count each one of the hairs on my head! He memorizes every tiny detail of my body, every speck, every freckle. He knows every thought, every emotion, every feeling I have. He knows my actions even before or after I've done them. Nothing escapes my Father. He doesn't miss anything. Knowing and accepting this comforts me.  

Matthew 10:29-31 reminds me that if God is concerned about one sparrow, the more that He is concerned about me. I pray that the truth of His love for me will be embedded in me every single waking day. 

You Know Me

You have been

And You will be

You have seen

And You will see

You know when I rise and when I fall

When I come or go, You see it all

You hung the stars and You move the sea,

And still You know me

Whoa oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh, You know me

Whoa oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh

You have been

And You will be

And You have seen

And You will see

You know when I rise and when I fall

When I come or go, You see it all

You hung the stars and You move the sea,

And still You know me

Whoa oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh, You know me

Whoa oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh

And nothing is hidden from Your sight

Wherever I go, You find me

And You know every detail of my life

And You are God and You don't miss a thing

And nothing is hidden from Your sight

Wherever I go, You find me

And You know every detail of my life

And You are God and You don't miss a thing

Whoa oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh, You know me

Whoa oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh, You know me

Whoa oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh, You know me

Whoa oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh

You memorize me